


Fool

by SerenitySniper97



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anger, Crush on Marlo, Depression, F/M, Fake Happiness, Gen, Hitch's POV, Military Police, Minor Anxiety attack, Self comparison, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3605292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenitySniper97/pseuds/SerenitySniper97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though Hitch has a bright smile on her face most of the time and a crush on Marlo, she usually fakes her happiness and sarcasm. A look at Hitch behind closed doors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fool

I lay myself on the bed watching the ceiling as the sunlight rays shine bright. I grab a lock of hair twisting it around my finger. I lower my eyes looking at Annie’s drawer. Her clothes and belongings crowed around her area. I pull myself off the bed turning my head towards there. I hunch my back looking down at my uniform shoes. I tap them together clutching my hands on the bed “Tip, tap, tip, toe...” I whisper cheering myself up as I hear other people laughing and talking in a voice full of joy.

_I wish I could talk normally like that._

I stand up myself looking around the place. I pick up my brush running it through my hair finding a few tangles. I toss it on Annie’s unmade bed walking towards the window. I see Boris talking to another Military Police fellow, and Marlo just standing down there looking at them.

_Say something to them Hitch, say something stupid._

I take a deep breath then exhaling I lean over the window sill looking down at Marlo “Heeey Marlo! Maybe you should try talking to somebody else other than being such an outcast.”

_Good that sounded bright and happy._

I plaster a smile on my face leaning on my elbow on the wood looking down at Marlo “Hitch? Are you actually up early?” Marlo asks in a questioning voice, I move my hair out of my hair saying “What? I can’t have a nice time being up early?” Marlo blocks the sunlight out of his eyes while Boris watching us talking “It’s weird. Seeing you up like this- also, we have a free day today. You can change out of your uniform.”

_I’m losing my happy face._

“Really?!” I take a step back from the window rushing to my personal drawer taking out a random dress. I lay it out on my bed, I rush taking off my harnesses and my uniform. I look at the dark green dress with a thick gold belt around it. I slip on the dress tightening the belt a little lower than my ribs, so that it make a bit of a poof at the top. I grab my black sandals off the floor slipping them on. I relax myself plastering a smile on my face once again. I look down at Marlo still looking up at my window. I feel a burn on my cheeks as I see him in a white blouse shirt with a red vest suit, black trousers, and brown shoes. Boris says something quietly to Marlo. I try to keep a smile on my face.

_How much longer should I stay here?_

“Hey... Hitch? Would you want to-” Marlow begins asking me while I panic around gripping the wood at the window “Sorry Marlo! I gotta go! By the way you look stupid in that outfit!” I walk away from the window jumping on my bed.

_Whoo, got out of that one, his outfit isn’t that stupid... I just couldn’t stand another minute seeing him in that, because you know... I developed a crush on him._

I wonder around my room pacing around wondering what Marlo was going to ask me. I look in the mirror seeing myself with my hair reaching my chin. I ruffle my hair making it poofier. I lean closer looking into my large amber eyes surrounded with full eyelashes.

_I look so much like a cat..._

I sit down on a stool grabbing some of my favourite cosmetics slowly applying them. Brushing some mascara onto my eye lashes until I hear a knock on my door. I put away everything back into my little bag except the lipstick applying it carefully “Go away.” I hear the door open while I continue to apply the red lipstick “I said go away.” I turn my head seeing Marlo standing there, I finish putting on my lipstick. Hearing a click when I close it “Don’t you understand the meaning of go away.”

_Actually when I say go away. I really want people to stay._

“Yes, but I was wondering if you would answer that question I was going to ask before.” I get up from the stool watching Marlo with a neutral expression “No.” I let out of my mouth taking a small breath as Marlo gives up from the question giving me furrowed brows “You know what? Never mind, you never take anything serious. Why are you even here in the first place?” Marlo closes the door behind him hearing footsteps fading away.

_I’m just looking for somebody would actually dig through it finding who I am. Somebody would break down my walls._

I look at myself in my mirror once again looking at my face covered in cosmetics. I lift up my dress that lies over my knees. I turn the other way getting a side view of my body. I suck in my stomach a bit envying a flat stomach. _“I hate my body...”_ I whisper to myself as I lean closer to the mirror forcing a smile on my face “My name is Hitch...”

_That looks so fake._

I plaster a smile on my face once again then smiling more soft “That’s better.” I look at my eyes wishing it was another colour. I look at my hair wishing it was straight and long.

_Like that girl Mikasa..._

I think to myself hitting my stuff off the desk, feeling some tears slipping out. I let out a breathy laugh seeing the stuff fall on the floor. I back the wall sliding down fighting a storm in my head. I take a deep breath while I hear a knock on my door “Are you okay in there?” I take another deep hesitant breath wiping the tears away “Yeah! I’m fine! I just dropped some stuff!” I begin getting up from the wall while the [person tries to open the door “No! I’m...”

_Come up with an excuse... quick._

“I’m changing!” I shout excluding the pain in my voice while I wipe the tears away from my face. I rush over to the mirror fixing any smudges or stains from the tears.

_Why can’t I be like the other girls?_

I look at myself in the mirror. There was this one time Marlo and Boris called me lazy, ungrateful, and lack of skills. I told myself I wouldn’t put so much stress on myself and join the Military Police because when I get put under stress... Something clicks in my head. Like depression or something. Usually I don’t realize when it first hits me. I get obsessive over myself and I hate myself...  I wanted to run away from that because when you become depressed you just lose the will for everything but you try so hard to push forward.

_If only they would understand me, I’m such a fool..._


End file.
